October 10th was World Mental Health Day. It is so positive that there is a day for mental health, but I also believe that mental health should be focused on every day.
As someone who has diagnoses of EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), anxiety, depression, ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) amongst many others, I believe that mental health is a very important subject. And, more importantly, mental health and wellbeing in the workplace should be taken seriously.
I am very fortunate to be in a job that not only understands and promotes a positive attitude towards mental health, but I also get to help people with mental illnesses on a day-to-day basis.
The majority of people who struggle with their mental health are unfortunately unable to sustain full time work and I am grateful to be in a position where I am well enough to do so. That is not to say I am well all the time as we all have our struggles, but it is how we deal with them that can enable us to move forward with our lives. I would not however be in my position without DBT, and I am very grateful for it and to share it with you.
Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)
DBT is a form of therapy created by a woman called Marsha Linehan, and it is commonly and mainly used for individuals who have EUPD or traits of EUPD. EUPD is Emotional Unstable Personality Disorder or, as it’s more commonly known, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Individuals with BPD have not had a very positive reputation in the media and there is a huge stigma surrounding it. However, I hope my article sheds some light into looking after yourself whether you have BPD or not, in the workplace and in your day to day lives.
In DBT there are four modules, but I want to focus on mindfulness in this article. Now I have had many encounters with mental health professionals who have told me to be mindful, so much so that I started to resent the word mindful and mindfulness. However, DBT taught me that being mindful is so much more than taking a bath or going for a walk. Yes, these are things we can do to be mindful, but how do we know we are being mindful?
DBT taught me that there are three states of mind: Emotion mind, Reasonable mind and Wise mind. Emotion mind is primarily ruled by your emotions as the name states. In this state of mind, you tend to dismiss facts and logic and can be reactive and impulsive. Reasonable mind is the opposite state of mind. It is primarily ruled by facts, reason and logic. Values and feelings are dismissed, and you are cool, rational and task focused. Wise mind however is the combination of both emotion and reasonable mind. Wise mind is where you think intuitively, with balance and wisdom. It is the synthesis of emotional mind and reasonable mind.
DBT taught me that no state of mind is better than the other, sometimes we need emotion mind and sometimes we need reasonable mind. However, our goal is to be in wise mind especially when making decisions. Everyone has a wise mind and it can be difficult to find. However, DBT taught me that there are two sets of skills to enable us to be fully mindful and to be in wise mind. They are known as the ‘What skills’ and the ‘How skills.’
What skills
Observe
Also known as wordless watching.
- Notice your body’s sensations (coming through your eyes, nose, ears, skin and tongue).
- Pay attention on purpose to the present moment.
- Control your attention, cling to nothing.
- Practice wordless watching: watch your thoughts come into your mind and let them slip by. Notice each feeling, rising and falling.
- Observe both inside and outside yourself.
- Be focused with an open mind.
Describe
- Put words on the experience. When a feeling or thought arises or you do something, acknowledge it. For example, ‘I feel my stomach tightening as I feel sad’ or ‘a thought that I cannot do this has arisen in my mind’
- Label what you observe. Label a thought as a thought, a feeling as a feeling, an action as an action.
- Unglue your interpretations and opinions from the facts. Describe the ‘who, what, when and where’ that you observe. Focus on the facts.
- You can only label things that you objectively see, do not add things from the past or future.
Participate
- Throw yourself completely into activities of the current moment. Be willing and do not separate yourself from what is going on in the moment. Imagine a child dancing in public or animals doing what they want without a care for what other people think!
- Become one with whatever you are doing, completely forget yourself and throw your attention to the moment.
- Act intuitively from wise mind. Do just what is needed in each situation, a skilful dancer on the dance floor, one with the music and your dance partner.
- Go with the flow! Respond with spontaneity.
- Enjoy the moment right now! Do whatever it is you are doing.
- Do not judge yourself, just enjoy!
How skills
Non-Judgemental
- See but don’t evaluate. Just the facts. Take a non-judgemental stance.
- Be aware when you have a judgement – just notice. Reword by describing the facts of the situation.
- Accept each moment.
- Acknowledge the difference between helpful and harmful but don’t judge them!
- Acknowledge your values, your wishes, your emotional reactions but don’t judge them!
- When you find yourself judging, do not judge the judging!
- For example, ‘I like the colour green’ is not a judgement- this is personal preference but saying something like ‘green is a bad colour’ is a judgement. Likes and dislikes are not judgements.
One Mindfully
- Be completely present to this one moment.
- Do one thing at a time! When you eat, just eat. When you walk, just walk. When you worry, just worry!
- Do not catastrophise! Right now has this thing happened yet?
- Let go of distractions.
- Concentrate your mind.
- I find one mindfulness extremely helpful when I experience the ‘Sunday scaries’ – just focus on one thing at a time.
Effectively
- Be mindful of your goals in the situation.
- Focus on what works.
- Play by the rules.
- Do what is needed for that situation you are in, not the one you wish you were in, not the one that is fair or comfortable.
- Let go of wilfulness and sitting on your hands.
- Think of the longer-term picture and what is going to help you towards your goals.
Some examples of using ‘the what’ skills
- Observe with your eyes: watch the clouds in the sky, walk slowly, notice flowers and nature. Notice facial expressions of another person. Look closely at a leaf or flower or a pebble and look at the detail.
- Observe sounds: Just listen to the texture, shape of sounds around you. Listen to the silence in between sounds. Listen to music and observe each note, try breathing the sounds into your body and letting them flow out again on your out breath.
- Observe smells: Notice smells around you, aroma of food, nature.
- Observe taste: place something in your mouth and just pay attention to the taste such as a sour sweet or lollipop.
- Observe your breath.
- Practice describing the sensations you have observed: describe cloud patterns, leaf patterns, smells, tastes or describe emotions, as you breathe; describe inhaling and exhaling.
- Participate by focusing on where your body touches the ground or an object and all the ways you are connected to that object, dance to music, throw yourself into any activity you do such as sports, cleaning, studying, singing.
Some examples of using ‘the how’ skills
- Practice observing judgements.
- Replace judgements with facts.
- Write a non-judgemental description of the event – what happened, the feelings you felt, your thoughts and actions.
- Be one mindful by making a tea or coffee- do each movement slowly and with awareness.
- Wash the dishes one mindfully, consider each bowl and plate or even clean one mindfully!
- When practicing effectiveness – ask yourself ‘is this effective?’ and observe yourself when you start wanting things to be right rather than effective.
As our lives start to become more fast paced, we start to lose the picture and sometimes ourselves amongst the chaos. I hope that my tips help and you are able to look after yourself, not only this World Mental Health Day, but everyday.
