As we approach the festive holidays, what should be a joyful time for everyone, can be very stressful for separated parents. To ensure the children can enjoy the festivities without any disruption or conflict, here are some practical tips to help you co-parent in the best way possible:
- Keep your children at the focus of your plans. Any arrangements should be with the child’s best interests at heart. It is important for children to enjoy quality time with both parents, as long as there are no safeguarding concerns to prevent this from happening. Consider the children’s routines, how the holiday arrangements will benefit them including getting to spend time with their wider family.
- Communicate. This is simple but is often overlooked. Communication should be clear, respectful and child-focused. If you are concerned the conversation may lead to a heated exchange, you may wish to consider communicating through a parenting app. These are apps designed specifically to help you communicate about the children and remove the emotion and heat, so that you can stay focused on the children. These app offer tools such as shared calendars, in app telephone/videocalls that assist you with co-parenting.
- Prepare early. It is important that you discuss the arrangements for the festive season as soon as practicable. School holiday dates are readily available online, therefore if you can, try to agree a schedule of holiday contact so that you can make any special arrangements in advance. You should always try to have a written record of the agreed arrangements for the children to avoid any confusion in the future. There are many resources and templates available to assist you with agreeing the arrangements for the children such as parenting plans.
- Remain flexible and fair. There will be times when plans have to change at short notice. Offering each other some flexibility will only strengthen your co-parenting relationship during the festive season.
- Review the Arrangements. As children get older, their needs will change. It is important to revisit the agreed arrangements to ensure they continue to the meet the evolving needs of the children.
- Mediation– If you are unable to reach an agreement, you should consider mediation. This involves a neutral third party who will assist you to narrow the issues. Mediation can be quicker and cheaper than going to court.
- Court application. If you have exhausted all efforts to reach an agreement, you may have to consider making an application to the Court. This should always be a last resort and can be very expensive and lengthy.
Why Preparing for the Festive Season Matters?
Waiting until the week before to sort out arrangements can cause a lot of tension. Planning early will give both parents time to think about their schedules and any changes that could come up. This is vital because children need clarity on what the plan is. Knowing where they’ll be during the festive season will make them feel secure, excited, and will allow you and your children to enjoy the fun parts of the festive season. Things like buying presents, decorating the tree and celebrating with loved ones.
The holidays should be a happy time for your children. By ensuring you plan for the festive season in advance and remain child-focused, there is no reason why this cannot be a happy time for you too.
If you would like advice on any of the issues raised in this article, please contact Irrum Shah, Associate Solicitor in our Family Law Department by calling 0333 240 7373, or email us at [email protected].
